Written by Pete Schemm
[This concludes Pete Schemm’s piece from the previous three weeks]
Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3]

6. Table-talk

Perhaps the most underrated means to forming one another in Christ is the daily meal. Sharing a meal together as a family has fallen on hard times. Everything from baseball practice to dance lessons, television to video games, has made missing a meal together a foregone conclusion for many families. We do not make time for it, and we are suffering the consequences. I suggest that we recover one of the most basic, most ancient ways of sharing life together—eating together daily—as a means of spiritual formation in the Christian household.

Encouraged by Martin Luther’s example, I refer to meaningful conversation over a meal as “table-talk.” The value of table-talk to form the gospel in us builds on the idea that we enjoy talking about what matters to us at mealtime. God created us, as relational creatures, to eat together and to talk to one another; some of the most important conversations we ever have come at meal times. It is not coincidental that some of the most important conversations that Jesus had about the significance of his death were around a table—looking at one another, eye to eye, and eating together (Matt. 26:17-29; Mark 14:12-26: Luke 22:7-23; 24:13-35; see also Exod. 12; Deut. 16; Rev.19).

Our conversation in table-talk may vary from the mundane to the profound. It is appropriate to talk about the weather and the big game and other shared interests. It is also appropriate to talk about the gospel and repentance and God’s faithfulness to us as a family. It should not seem awkward or out of place when we talk about weighty and substantive things. If it does seem awkward, that probably reflects the absence of regular, meaningful conversations. These, and other questions like them, can prompt gospel-centered conversations that help us to reflect meaningfully on the daily evidences of God’s grace toward us.

What was your day like?
What were the highlights of the day?
How did God provide for us today?
Have we honored one another today?
How can I serve you tomorrow?

The Goal of the Christian Household

I want to conclude with a reminder of the ultimate goal of the Christian household. We practice these habits together because we long for gospel-centered relationships where the grace of God is rehearsed in our households. Home is the place where we are most often our true selves— whether in gladness or anger, honesty or deceit, love or ill will. It is by God’s design, then, that learning and living the gospel at home brings a depth to spiritual formation that is otherwise unlikely if not impossible.

And yet a well-ordered Christian household is not our ultimate goal! The Christian household is arguably the most foundational of all Christian communities but it is not the most important or ultimate Christian community. As we seek to bring life and doctrine together, we must think rightly about both the family and the church. The family and the church each has a unique and distinct role in God’s economy.

The Christian household, while important, must never become more important to us than the church or the kingdom of Christ. Such a belief would undermine the primacy of the gospel of Christ and oppose the plain teaching of Jesus: “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matt. 10:37).

The Christian household is where we live now, but it is not our ultimate home. Our ultimate home is with the family of God in the new heavens and the new earth. This is our ultimate hope and goal. This is why we take seriously our responsibilities in our families and in the church, in accordance with the gospel, because we long for Jesus. We long to go home, and we recognize that one day God himself will be our home (Rev. 21:3).