Habits of a Gospel-Centered Household - Pt. 4

Written by Pete Schemm
[This concludes Pete Schemm’s piece from the previous three weeks]
Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3]

6. Table-talk 

Perhaps the most underrated means to forming one another in Christ is the daily meal. Sharing a meal together as a family has fallen on hard times. Everything from baseball practice to dance lessons, television to video games, has made missing a meal together a foregone conclusion for many families. We do not make time for it, and we are suffering the consequences. I suggest that we recover one of the most basic, most ancient ways of sharing life together—eating together daily—as a means of spiritual formation in the Christian household. 

Encouraged by Martin Luther’s example, I refer to meaningful conversation over a meal as “table-talk.” The value of table-talk to form the gospel in us builds on the idea that we enjoy talking about what matters to us at mealtime. God created us, as relational creatures, to eat together and to talk to one another; some of the most important conversations we ever have come at meal times. It is not coincidental that some of the most important conversations that Jesus had about the significance of his death were around a table—looking at one another, eye to eye, and eating together (Matt. 26:17-29; Mark 14:12-26: Luke 22:7-23; 24:13-35; see also Exod. 12; Deut. 16; Rev.19).

Our conversation in table-talk may vary from the mundane to the profound. It is appropriate to talk about the weather and the big game and other shared interests. It is also appropriate to talk about the gospel and repentance and God’s faithfulness to us as a family. It should not seem awkward or out of place when we talk about weighty and substantive things. If it does seem awkward, that probably reflects the absence of regular, meaningful conversations. These, and other questions like them, can prompt gospel-centered conversations that help us to reflect meaningfully on the daily evidences of God’s grace toward us. 

• What was your day like? 

• What were the highlights of the day? 

• How did God provide for us today? 

• Have we honored one another today? 

• How can I serve you tomorrow? 

The Goal of the Christian Household 

I want to conclude with a reminder of the ultimate goal of the Christian household. We practice these habits together because we long for gospel-centered relationships where the grace of God is rehearsed in our households. Home is the place where we are most often our true selves— whether in gladness or anger, honesty or deceit, love or ill will. It is by God’s design, then, that learning and living the gospel at home brings a depth to spiritual formation that is otherwise unlikely if not impossible. 

And yet a well-ordered Christian household is not our ultimate goal! The Christian household is arguably the most foundational of all Christian communities but it is not the most important or ultimate Christian community. As we seek to bring life and doctrine together, we must think rightly about both the family and the church. The family and the church each has a unique and distinct role in God’s economy.

The Christian household, while important, must never become more important to us than the church or the kingdom of Christ. Such a belief would undermine the primacy of the gospel of Christ and oppose the plain teaching of Jesus: “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matt. 10:37).

The Christian household is where we live now, but it is not our ultimate home. Our ultimate home is with the family of God in the new heavens and the new earth. This is our ultimate hope and goal. This is why we take seriously our responsibilities in our families and in the church, in accordance with the gospel, because we long for Jesus. We long to go home, and we recognize that one day God himself will be our home (Rev. 21:3).

Habits of a Gospel-Centered Household - Pt. 3

Written by Pete Schemm
[This continues Pete Schemm’s piece from the previous two weeks (part one and part two).]

4. Singing Together 

This habit is a bit different because not everyone is musically inclined. But almost everyone enjoys some type of music. Our purpose in this habit is to help one another see the value in “psalms and hymns and spiritual songs” (Eph. 5:19) and to see how such a habit can form our understanding of the gospel. 

Hymns and songs express the biblical and theological language of the church in artistic, poetic, and memorable ways. They make an appeal to the soul on the basis of the beauty of the gospel. The gospel is already a beautiful reality, but through the use of hymns we learn to hear and feel and thus sense more deeply the beauty of God. 

Perhaps an illustration will help us here. I have never heard someone say, after rehearsing a catechism answer, “Wow—that was moving and powerful!” I have, on the other hand, seen my own children nodding appreciation after a stirring rendition of “Be Thou My Vision.” The same theological idea has been conveyed in both: God is great and we ought to worship him because of his greatness. Yet a catechism does not convey a sense of delight and emotion like a soul stirring lyric accompanied by beautiful music. 

Look for hymns and spiritual songs that are theologically rich and memorable. Look for hymns and songs that have theological integrity — that is to say, the mood and style of the music ought to match the theological ideas. A song about the depth of sin should not have a bouncy and happy mood. Look for hymns that are soul-satisfying. Our souls are in need of this, and gospel-centered, theologically rich songs address our human needs according to Scripture. 

The practice of this habit, for those of us who are less musically inclined, is best related to the local church. It may be as simple as experiencing a hymn or song together at church, asking one another why that song was so enjoyable, and incorporating a particular phrase from the song into your prayer at lunch on Sunday. 

5. Morning and Evening Prayers Together 

Scripture includes many examples of those who prayed at the beginning and end of the day, including our Lord Jesus (e.g., Ps. 4:8; 5:3; 57:7-8; 88:13; Mark 1:35; 14:32-42). One particularly relevant text, Deuteronomy 6:1-9, suggests that it was the role of the fathers in Israel to “repeat” words of faith in God every morning and evening—“when you lie down and when you get up” (v. 7). 

Why Pray 

Morning and evening prayers train us in the lifelong habit of trusting in God. The purpose of prayer is to glorify God by deepening our trust in him. In the morning we ask God to help us to trust him and glorify him all day long. We rejoice that his mercies are “new every morning” (Lam. 3:22-23)! In the evening we ask him to show us where we have and have not trusted him. We thank him for the times we did trust him; we repent where we have not. Then we close our eyes asking God to preserve us for yet another day. 

What to Pray 

The content of our prayers may be spontaneous, a reflection of the present concerns of our minds and hearts. But prayers may also be planned and scripted. One of my favorite prayers, “The Gospel Way,” contains this appeal: “Glorious Trinity, impress the Gospel on my soul, until its virtue diffuses every faculty.” I need that. I long for the day when the virtue of the gospel so permeates my every ability and facility that I am recognizably Christ’s. 

The best scripted prayers are those written by the inspired writers of Holy Scripture. Some of the commonly prayed texts of Scripture include psalms (e.g., Psalms 1, 4, 5, 19, 23, 90, 121), the Lord’s model prayer (Matt. 6:9-13), promises such as Paul’s words in Romans 8:26- 39, character-forming passages like 1 Corinthians 13 and Galatians 5:16-24, or prayers for the community of faith (e.g., Eph. 1:15-23; Phil. 1:3-11; Col. 1:3-14). 

How to Pray 

In the morning, consider offering a prayer together as a statement of faith in God. You might recite the Apostles’ Creed or the Lord’s Prayer together. It is also fitting to set the concerns of the day before the Lord at this time. This may be done in just a few minutes at the breakfast table and it honors God by giving him the “first thoughts” and “first words” of the day. Other places to start the day in prayer together are the bedroom, the living room, or on the way to school. 

Evening time is appropriate for prayers that require reflection on the day. We might ask for insight as to how the day was or was not pleasing to God. Or we may explicitly repent of things that we know did not please God. Evening is also a fitting time for exercising faith in God throughout the night. The Lord is the one who “keeps us” and protects us while we sleep—“He who keeps [you] will neither sleep nor slumber” (Ps. 121:4). Praying each day, morning and evening, is an important way to train ourselves in the fear of God. It is something we may do alone but we should also consider doing it together. 

An ancient prayer for children and adults:
Now I lay me down to sleep, 
I pray the Lord my soul to keep. 
If I should die before I wake, 
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

[Continued next week.]

Habits of a Gospel-Centered Household - Pt. 2

Written by Pete Schemm
[This continues Pete’s piece from last week.]

2. Reading Scripture Together 

Holy Scripture is the most important source for training in the Christian household. Scripture alone is sufficient to form our understanding of salvation and every aspect of Christian living (see 2 Tim. 3:10-17; Pss. 1, 19, 119). Jesus taught that God’s Word is sufficient when he said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God’” (Matt 4:4). 

Scripture is not our only source for improving our understanding of God and Christian doctrine, but it is our only perfect and ultimate source. Every other resource we might employ is subject to the authority of Scripture. Because Scripture is the ultimate source of authority in all matters of life and doctrine, we see Scripture as the primary means for Christian formation. 

How to Read the Bible in the Christian Household 

The important thing to note about our second habit is simplicity. Reading Scripture together is not a Bible study or a lesson. It is quite simply a time to read the Bible together and listen to it—to read and learn as a family. Read Scripture regularly—not necessarily daily but consistently. It has been my experience, mostly with fathers, that a daily goal is counterproductive. They fail to meet this goal and then give up altogether. A better goal for the habit of Scripture reading is “life together under the Word.” Reading consistently as a family, along with faithful participation in a local church, can accomplish this goal. 

Read Scripture appropriately. Dietrich Bonhoeffer suggested that we ought to read the Bible more like novices. Those who are familiar with the Bible often take on the character of the person who is speaking— whether God or a human being. In so doing, they tend to distort the reading of Scripture. Readers become “rhetorical, emotional, sentimental, or coercive” and direct the listeners’ attention to themselves instead of toward God’s Word. Ironically, it becomes difficult to hear God speak from his own Word. When the Bible is read appropriately, in humility, our families have a better chance of hearing from God. 

Read Scripture in unity. I recommend the same Bible translation for everyone, children and parents. Bible story books may be helpful at times, but in the end our families ought to learn the Word of God using the same grammar. Of course your seven-year-old is unlikely to grasp the significance of the word justification as it is used in Paul’s letter to the Romans—but that’s not the point. Honestly, who among us understood justification the first time we read it? It is our responsibility, as parents, to build a grammar of faith. And we hope to do so in a manner consistent with our belief in the gospel. 

3. Rehearsing Truth Together 

Our third habit centers on truth and doctrine. How can we help our children discover sound doctrine? How can we help them be ready “to make a defense to anyone who asks” for a reason for the hope we have in Christ (1 Peter 3:15)? And to do so with the allure of gentleness? Well, the good news is that we don’t have to reinvent the wheel of Christian doctrine. 

I recommend using a catechism to rehearse the time-tested truths of Christianity. What is a catechism? A catechism is a summary of Christian belief put in the form of questions and answers. It is a tool designed for personal interaction. It may be used at the breakfast table, on a car ride, or at bed time. 

We found that the habit of asking a question or two each week naturally opened gospel-oriented conversations with our children. In addition to that, it naturally stocks your child’s warehouse of biblical and theological concepts. It is one of the most effective means I know of to be “trained in the words of the faith” (1 Tim 4:6). 

There are several good catechisms available. For years our family used A Catechism of Bible Teaching (1892) written by John A. Broadus. It is written from a distinctively Baptist perspective. These days we use a more recently published catechism—The New City Catechism. We like it because it comes in full-color, digital format. Download the app and check it out (www.newcitycatechism.com). As Baptists, we may find the need to tweak an answer or two but don’t let that keep you from the value of the entire catechism. It stands squarely in Christian orthodoxy. 

Here is a sample question from The New City Catechism to give you an idea of how this works: 

Question 1: What is our only hope in life and death? 

Answer: That we are not our own but belong, body and soul, both in life and death, to God and to our Savior Jesus Christ. 

[Continued next week.]